And here are the answers I got from Y:[about his h...

2009-02-11T14:49:00.000-08:00

And here are the answers I got from Y:

[about his humiliation:]

As I see it, my humilation was worse than hers.

[which may be true or not, after all I don't know their situation]

[about the "whores":]

As I look at it, they brough the humilation on themselves, but my humilation was beyond words.

[about his girlfriend inflicting pain on him:]

I am sure she did not do it intentionally, but tha pain was real

[about the "why", "how" and the fact he didn't know of her doing:]

She was using her computer to contact they guys using a Hotmail account I was completely unaware of. She wanted live the high-life and she was using the money to libe it at my expense.

For full transparency, within the limits of anonym...

2009-02-11T14:44:00.000-08:00

For full transparency, within the limits of anonymity, here's what I replied to Y:

Hey Y,

Thanks for sharing. I had mixed feelings reading your e-mail though...

I can understand you felt betrayed, and that you wanted revenge. I guess from your point of view you definitely consider that your girlfriend was cheating on you, and I also understand that the "outing" can be really embarrassing (that would be a pretty big problem for me professionally I guess, though I would not feel particularly embarrassed as I stand by her).

However - and considering I don't know under which conditions your girlfriend was doing this job and her reasons to do it, especially considering you had been together for X years, maybe I'm just being the devil's advocate - it probably was an even harder situation to endure for your girlfriend, a greater humiliation, a hard decision for her to do this job in the first place, and not a really satisfying position to have to lie to you about it.

Anyway, I don't consider prostitution a good thing, even though my girlfriend is working in that area, and I would not condemn you partaking in the arrests and trying to help law enforcements. Quite the opposite, I would say that your approach is that you try to help. I would however condemn the fact that these kind of arrests don't solve any of the problems that make prostitution what is is in the first place: they just bring humiliation and social pressure to lots of people for no real practical outcome and improvement.

Besides, you got revenge on "whores", but they were *not* your girlfriend, and maybe were not in the business for the same reasons. Stories are all different. I also doubt your girlfriend was trying to hurt you back then.

Finally, when it comes to you bragging about fcking them, that doesn't make you really better than anyone else, though I would probably excuse you because of the perverse addiction of the power trip that probably provided you with. And there's something I don't get: if you'd been with your girl for almost X years how come you never knew ? how come she needed the money? Or was she doing it for the power, the drugs, or the sex?
Did she ever tell you why?

Your story is very interesting because it sheds light on another aspect of the prostitution business and from the same point of view as mine.
Do you have anything against me publishing this (without your address or other information published in the e-mail header, of course. I can also leave out the parts about your age, dates, locations, number of people convicted and so on to make it completely tamed). If you're opposed to it I won't and would maybe only refer indirectly to your story at some point, but never use it.

And for what it's worth: my girlfriend was also arrested for prostitution, before I knew her, though. And quite recently a very big escort prostitution ring was dismantled, and she noticed in the newsclips that partial photos of her were out there in newspapers and online. We were thinking she might get contacted by the police anytime soon if the agencies working in that ring had kept information on her, but it never happened. Maybe they were cautious, or she's not worth the trouble. And that is already a more decent approach to "fixing" things. The girls are merely responsible for "minor" side-effects, [and these are mostly false accusations without any ground]: breaking couples, transmitting STDs (though usually, they're all very cautious and clean, which is not the case of all the clients)... Whereas the agencies generate a huge amount of money, exploit them, and continue to develop this image of objectified women (and men) as sexual objects. Interestingly, men escorts (some involved with celebrities) have less problems with law enforcement agencies. I would consider that difference already a much bigger problem.

Feel free to send more information to answer the questions above, I'm really curious to know more about your situation when you were still dating your girlfriend. Where you in a committed relationship? I assume you were supposed to be exclusives? Had you both made it clear? Were you living together? How did your relationship work out? You say you were humiliated and embarrassed... but that's only a reference to the point of view of other people around you. Were you hurt? Did you love her? Did she love you? What did she do after that happened. Do you know if she's still doing it? That sort of things...

Cheers,

H.

Comments on My Girlfriend is an Escort: Your Revenge

And here are the answers I got from Y:[about his h...

For full transparency, within the limits of anonym...