My Song of the Day (Self Esteem)  

Posted by H in , ,

There are 3 songs I often think about when writing on this blog or when I discuss my relationship with people.
They express mixed feelings I get when people ask me about how it is to live with G. and her doing what she has to. Going to list them here in different posts through the week.

Though the lyrics don't exactly stick to what I think and feel, I always find a strong emotional connection to them, except with more or less acceptance (depends on which one of the 3 songs we're talking about) than the lyricist.

I am not that much of a huge of a fan of The Offspring, but interestingly it's always the songs Dexter Holland wrote about girls that I think are the most touching (some more political ones are more thought-provoking though).

The hit-song that got them to the top of the charts (and made "Smash" the all-time - so far - best selling record on a independent label), "Self Esteem", already dealt with, well, of course self-esteem, self identification and pride.
Though the main character in the song clearly has issues with his situation, I always think of it.

It's just a song I refered a lot to in my life. I actually *want* to be this "sucker with no self-esteem". Pride is in my opinion the worst sin of all (no religious intent here). You'd make the worst mistake because of it, and it will lead you to the other ones. It's the most perversely powerful of all, if you ask me. (Wrath being a close second).
I want to be someone who doesn't give a crap, and does not let himself get hurt by things he has no real control on.

La la la la la la la la la la
I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
When she came over I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert
Now I know I'm being used
But that's okay man cause I like the abuse
I know she's playing with me
But that's okay cause I've got no self esteem

chorus:
Oh wayo, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah (Repeat three times)

We make plans go out at night
I wait till 2 then I turn out the light
this rejection’s got me so low
If she keeps it up I just might tell her so

Chorus

When she's saying, oh that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she saying, oh that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can stand
Well I guess, I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah!

Now I'll relay this little bit
It happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night, she knocks on my door
She's drunk again and, looking to score
Now I know, I should say no, but
It's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem

Chorus

When she's saying, oh that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying, oh that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess, I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah!




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