Our Nine Lives  

Posted by H in

I was baby-sitting the other day for an old friend, and while looking after the kid, I happened to put him in front of the TV for a couple of (so lovely, quiet and silent) hours to watch old cartoons. You know, the american classics, Hannah Barbera, Merry Melodies and the likes.

One of them featured a cat going through a series of trouble, and the show pictured this mythological depiction of cats having nine lives.

It got me thinking, maybe we just all have these, in a metaphorical way. We don't actually die, from our physical death; but we do from a more spiritual standpoint. Not in a religious way, but at various milestones in our lives, we move on from states of minds, levels of education or enlightenment, to the next ones. Some people do that more often that others, some don't really radically break free from any part of their existence and go on living their lives (happily or not). But some need to close doors, and close them for good.

I've closed some myself. G.'s closed heaps.

So I was going through my mind and trying to think about all these doors we closed, to list them all. And then (yes, baby-sitting bores me to death, as you can see) I thought I had to prioritize these. So I figured that, after all, 9 seemed like as good a number as any other to shortlist our milestones. And the more I thought about it, the more it becomes fuzzy. Considering major events in your life this way makes you realize that things that appear huge when they occurred were not necessarily that impressive. Either because of their relative value to
other incidents, or because of their absolute value to, I don't know, centennial world-hunger and war-and-peace issues, and the evolution of your own perception of such things.

And when you look at it that way, finding 9 milestones is not that easy. Of course you could just list your top 9, but are they really *that* important? That decisive, crazy, radical or life-changing?

For some, the birth of a child, the death of a friend, parting ways with relatives, or mating with a soulmate might look like a milestone. To others, it could be reading your most enlightening piece of literature. Having an epiphanial conversation with an homeless drunk in the ER, only to realize he had more degrees than you ever
will and is not the freaking loser everybody sees but someone who decided to walk away voluntarily. Your favorite movie, your first date, kiss, masturbation, wet-dream or sexual encounter in a dirty public bathroom. Going to first base with lily-golden-hair in middle-school. Having to put down to sleep your dog. Having to put
down to sleep your kid's dog. Helping someone to survive. Helping someone to die. Forbidding someone one of these 2 latest options. Going to second base with jenny-with-cute-breats in high-school.

It also made me think of that movie with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, "The Bucket List".

I could list our nine lives here. But I won't. That's not the purpose of my writing on this weblog. What I'll do, is list the ones that are related to it anyway, in both of our lives. And promise to list the new ones when they occur. We haven't reached the final count of nine (that's what's hopeful about it).

I'd be happy if you share yours on the newsgroup or in the comments, related to your "normal" lives, or the bits of them in relation to the sex industry.

Expect a series of posts coming about these.


Hi H,
You can call me E. I've been dating a girl for 7 months now. About a month ago she told me she used to be an escort. She doesn't do it regularly anymore but it was weird hearing that even though i suspected it since we met. It's so refreshing to read a blog by someone in a similar situation because i can't really talk to anyone about this.

Hey E.*

Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

I understand it was probably weird and confusing to hear that your girlfriend used to be an escort.

But on the one hand, if she's not doing it anymore, I guess you don't need to worry that much about it. I consider that things that are in the past are not that relevant. I sort of cannot judge anything G. did before meeting me. It's like there's a proscription on it.

Of course it's something that defined her back then, and probably still defines the person she is right now (though it may define her as an opposite to what she used to be, maybe). I consider it's a good thing to know about your partner's past, but that you should make a clear distinction between what it means for her (everything) and for you (sort of nothing, actually).

It's the same any judicial system: once you've served your sentence, you are and should be regarded as as white as snow.

But still, it's confusing.

All best, and don't hesitate to stop by again.

(And if she doesn't want to talk about it, don't push it. Just try to be understanding, you cannot possibly have any clue of what she went through).


(hope not too many join up on that naming convention, or identifying ourselves will get fairly tricky quite fast... ;-) )

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My Girlfriend is an Escort

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