Her New Sister  

Posted by H in

Don't send congratulations letters, it's not a family thing. That would require some missing elements first, like, I don't know, a family... No, what she found is a new friendly and trustworthy connection at work.

In her most active agency, G. has a few really good friends and a herd of reliable contacts, and some people she just avoids. But what she apparently found recently is the perfect dream: She landed the BFF. You know, that cutsy acronym for "Best Friend Forever"? Well she just found that.

It's not everyday that you see G. acting like a teenage girl. She may look like one sometimes, but she had to skip far too many steps in her life to have the occasion to stay in character for too long, and the need for the armored cover always comes back, just in case. So when she starts taling to me about that new friend of hers everyday with stars in her eyes, a few things go through my mind:
- God does that feel good to see her happy and excited
- Hell does that scare the shit out of me that the pain is going to be a proportional opposite when it bites her (us?) in the ass.

This is a new girl who just arrived, from a country where G. used to work. She started at the same age as G., but she's older. She tells her lots of war-stories of the sex-industry, seems to know everything about all sex-business in any possible country, to be capable to read between the lines of all penal and civil codes, is intermediate level in a shit-load of languages, and as the indecency of still looking fairly attractive for her age, with a humbled perception of herself and no overrated pride, but still also with a balanced acceptance and acknowledgment of her mistakes and success in picking agencies, hand-creams, plastic surgeons, dandies and love-partners.

She's honest, but can bit if she has to. She's lovely, but can turn into a mean SOB if you attack her. She goes by an ethical code of conduct, but work arounds it when desperate situations require desperate measures.

What is wrong with that picture? Everything if you ask me. That girl is indeed perfect, in the sense that she manages her life and goes by just fine. She protects herself really efficiently, and that's a notable and noble personal achievement.

But she draws a way to delusional picture of situations that always untie themselves happily at the end, and the fact that she gets dirty if she has to means only one thing to me: if it were to come down to that at some point, she wouldn't give a crap about G. or anyone else.

But that's just my pessimistic way of thinking, and in the meantime, though I am concerned, I am glad G. has someone to rely on at work. As long as she doesn't run away with G.'s agencies' finances, that is.

Someone that can possibly teach her more than she already knows about her job, and harden her. But on the other hand, she changes her in the same cold robot, that pretends to have remained this spirited libertine being. And I just don't buy that. And I am not sure I want G. to get that hardened. I want her to keep that tiny glimmer of hope and innocence.

I'm just being scared and careful, sorry. Guess what, it works both ways: *I* have changed from a cold frak into an emotional being with her, and *I* would like *her* to not switch to my previous personality. That's the usual hypocrisy and bite-me-in-the-ass-irony of the Couple's Equilibrium.

Si I just try to lay back and relax and listen to her when she comes home in the morning, even later than before because she now goes out for breakfast with her new "sister" after her last outcall of her shift. And to tell me it's probably for the best, and that I get old and worry without a cloud in sight.

Didn't see that coming: I'm in the overly protecting motherly position, and at the overly defense boyfriend-ly position at once. What the heck happened to me, huh ?


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