My Feeling Good, Your Experiences and Thank-You's  

Posted by H in ,

I have to say that I actually don't think I've felt better about starting this blog since the last few weeks.

Strangely enough, at a time where I myself doubted my own relationship for various reasons (and mostly my own lack of self-confidence and strength), I was blessed to see people voice their opinion right here on this introductory post on My Guide to Dating an Escort* and in my mailbox.


(* A guide I still have to write and publish here in more details... I know, I know. But after all, who am I to write a guide when I am still learning?)


To these people, who expressed their views and shared their experiences either publicly or privately, here's to you:

1) Thank you very much for your time and attention. There are no words to express how I felt while I read your messages. It is an incredible feeling to know that people go through the same experiences and are at different stages of the process. Ones you have already been through, ones you have not reached, and maybe even some you'll never cross path with (for good or bad).

2) I also hope you will come back and enjoy reading these pages as much as you have in the past. I would gladly hear from you again and read how things evolve on your side.

3) And last but definitely not least, I sincerely wish all of you all the best in your own endeavors and with your personal relationships. I know they can be weird and tricky, but I still think they're worth it, and it's always with great pleasure that I see people proving me right.


Thanks again and good night, as the artists say.

My Answer: So Wrong...  

Posted by H in ,

I just came across this article on real life sex-trafficking and prostitution, which apparently is written by a self-defense training organization. And it made me react a little bit.


At first I just amusingly thought of Sarah Summers, because if you've been reading her Inspired to Blog site you know as well as I do that she doesn't take well people demonizing her line of work and calling all girls out there just a bunch of poor little defense-less victims.


Then it actually got to me gradually and I wanted to post a comment. And noted I couldn't. Ah. How we get used to the wonders of the internet. Where's the hell is my comment system? So I thought I could just write back here in reply, but nobody would notice, it's not like there's a lot people reading me, and I guess not that many on that website either. So I thought of using Google Sidewiki and posted an entry (you can write one yourself!). I'll post it back here for backup purposes and easier accessibility for those of you not familiar with Sidewiki:


First of all I want to say that I do not encourage prostitution, and do not want to incite any young girls or boys to start selling sexual services as a mean of paying their college tuition fees when they could have other options, or for any other reason for that matter.

However, what is written here is just plain wrong. If you have such high figures, please come forward and cite them. Give me a study. Give me numbers. Give me sources.

There are not that many girls that would sleep with 15 to 30 men a day, and it would in no way be an average value.

And yes, I do agree that many pimps or even legal escort agencies (in countries where prostitution is legal) do target girls with difficulties, whether it is totally meant to be like that or not. There's of course a socio-economical pattern to it and of course a girl who didn't have the benefits of an education giving her social boundaries and who is struggling in her life (or simply feeling that she's struggling, when all she's going through is merely life, but cannot get a good grasp on it) is an easier target for them, and most of the girls I know do indeed fit that pattern.

Not all of them though. I do know some girls who do this willingly. As in *totally* willingly. They have an education. They didn;t have difficulties. They could have paid for their studies and life another way and they know it. But the job satisfies them. either fully for some of them, and sometimes only partly for others. But aren't there a lot more people in "normal" jobs who are only partly satisfied with their jobs? Here maybe they have an ethical problem with it, but it satisfies they sexual side. Or they enjoy the advantages (time and money, primarily).


While I do appreciate the attempt at addressing an issue (trafficking exists, both in developed and developing countries, and direct and indirect exploitation is a truth, as are some of the practices pointed at here: gang-bangs for introduction, exposition to drugs, demeaning physical and psychological treatments), this perspective won't solve anything. Unilateraly demonizing something won't solve the issue, and the only positive point will be to raise awareness.

But you provide false information, and you take away the focus from the real solutions. For the ones already at work, legalization ensures a better coverage and better conditions, at least in developed countries. And in general, a right to education and social security support would solve most problems for the ones who fall into this because they are in need.


I should have thought all of this more through, but I was kind of in a rush and have to leave now.

But my realization here is that Sidewiki can be a useful thing after all. It's a double-axe thing: it can bite you, but it can in the end be a tool for open-ended discussion. It's hard to control, but so are the minds of our fellow human-beings, aren't they?


Note: you don't have to install the Google Toolbar to browse and use Google Sidewiki. There's an handy SideWiki bookmarklet, which lets you write on any page you want.

Our Remembrance Day for Long Lost Friends  

Posted by H in , ,

December 1st was the World AIDS Day. I think the importance of such events is pretty obvious and considering the topic of this blog, I am sure everybody visiting these pages knows already why it matters and how serious the issue is.

I could though rant for a little while on the less well-known *negative* impacts of such events, as they sometimes do to have the opposite effect of boring people to death by asking them for contributions every year, eventually becoming part of a routine that only reminds people of bad things: money, death, and the long-road towards possibly more effective treatments.

But that's not really my point. Today, I just want to remember. Remember a friend of mine who died of AIDS a couple of years ago. He received a call from a girl he occasionally had sex with a few years ago on a Saturday morning, and she told him she had been diagnosed with AIDS and was warning all of her past relationships and flings. The news hit hard at first, mostly because he had not been in touch with her for a while but cared for her dearly, but then he let go and it's only weeks later that he finally went to get himself checked-up. He was single at the time she called and felt fine. When he finally met someone and things started to get serious, he went to the clinic. And learned he was positive. Then he lost it a little, went on travelling for months when he could have undergone treatment, and eventually the disease got the better of him. He died just 20 months after receiving this dreaded phone call, and left behind his girlfriend, who had stayed with him through his final hours. 2 lives stolen and 1 shattered for months.

I told G. this story when we saw an announcement for the World AIDS Day on TV last week, and we realized that even know we had been talking about this disease as a couple, we never shared these memories. As it happens, she lost 3 co-workers (one of who was not a sex-worker but a "normal-life" / "normal-job" co-worker, by the way) to AIDS.
The first of them, she actually lost when she was still rather young and starting in the business. It was a girl of her age, who was reckless and eventually probably came across the wrong type of punter. She didn't get checked-up regularly, had left very quickly the agency where G. worked back then, and started as an independent. She got sick for a while but refused to see a doctor. G. used to think it was just her way, reckless and restless as usual, too young to die as she was. Now she thinks she might actually have had more problems to cope with her lifestyle, and that she felt too embarassed to seek help and talk about it.
She eventually asked her former colleagues for support, and after a while she finally accepted their advice of finally seeing a doctor, unfortunately too late.
The other girl was working with G. in another agency, a few years before I met her. In another country also, actually. She was older than G. by roughly 2 decades, and had been in the business for years. It was her death which actually finally made G. become more aware and more careful about everything related to STDs. From G.'s recollection, she was depressed for months after her death. This particular girl was actually sort of a mentor for her, both in terms of professional services, but also for many other aspects of her life. They also ended up having a thing together for a while. Nothing serious, just all in good fun. But always safe-fun, on this girl's own terms. She felt strongly about protection, and rightly so. Yet she caught it, without knowing it. Either from a casual unprotected encounter she never confessed, but according to G. probably from a simple accident. She was getting checked very regularly and found out quickly. She fought the disease for months, and G. kept in touch. She felt a bit sad for her, as she says lots of the other girl in this agency suddenly looked down on that poor girl. In some countries and areas, getting the bug is like being branded. You become an untouchable.


After exchanging these stories, we decided we both wanted to commemorate these friends and acquaintances, as they had impacted our lives. Especially in the case of that last girl, as if it weren't for her, G. could have caught it herself later. Maybe. Who knows. But she did have a great influence on her, and taught her lots of the tricks and tools of the trade.


So G. and I went to visit the graves of two of them with flowers, who are buried in our area. We then decided to make a donation. So should you. For the locals of San Francisco, you can donate on the San Francisco AIDS Foundation. For others, pick any organization that matters to you, like the National AIDS Trust.

We spent the rest of the day sharing memories of these 4 people, both good and bad. It was a time for laughter and tears. We thought of attending some local events surrounding World AIDS Day, but eventually decided to just keep reminiscing on our own. We talked for hours in bars we used to frequent with some of them, and eventually spent the evening in one of our favorite spots outside of SF, watching the sky during a cold cold night.


Here's to our lost friends.

Their Influences  

Posted by H in , , ,

Google already announced the 2009 edition of its Zeitgeist annual overview of the web in search.

I went to have a look to see if some of the major events of the year with regard to prostitution were ranked noticeably, if at all.
Unfortunately, I didn't find anything, note even a mention of Dr Brooke Magnanti's coming-out as Belle de Jour. Not even in the UK-specific edition.
Could it be that Google prefers to filter out search terms and themes that are a bit too raunchy?
Or maybe it is just too early, as Zeitgeist seems to cover historical data only up to September, unfortunately.

But then I figured Google Trends could give me some data. And it surely does, as shows this graph for Belle de Jour. As it seems, the biggest news of all definitely was her late coming out, maybe because of the notoriety she acquired over time. Or maybe because of the pop-effect of the TV series? Or simply because of simply human voyeurism to read about tendentious cases, especially when we smell someone could loose some feathers in the fight? I'm afraid the 3rd option might be quite important.



Still, it is a very satisfying to notice the impact Belle de Jour had, and no matter where you stand on the debate (you know, the usual stuff, whether she's glamorizing prostitution and might make it more appealing to the youth as a way to get financial support by selling sexual services - more or less willingly - instead of working a few more hours and sleeping a few less), one cannot deny that it benefits everybody by raising the issue.
Or maybe it won't benefit everybody, as raising the awareness might actually allow some ill-advised politicians to surf on this wave to start new crusades against prostitution in the wrong ways! I could surely see that happening in some conservative regions and counties of several countries.





Google Trends for "Prostitute" and "Escort"


You can also surf for other trends of interest. It's an interesting way of revisiting past news and see how they were received.

Your Wearing RED for World AIDS Day ?  

Posted by H in ,

Wear red for Worlds AIDS Day. Even Google Does it.

Or make a donation, it could happen to you, your clients, your co-workers, or your friends and relatives.

Your and Their World AIDS Day  

Posted by H in , ,

What are you up to for World AIDS Day?

If you can spare a 2 minutes and a few bucks make a donation to fight AIDS!

AIDS can happen to you, your friends and relatives, your co-workers.

If you are a sex-worker, keep in mind that your clients are obviously potential bearers as they represent an increased risk for you. Sure some of them are as careful as the escorts they encounter - who are, fortunately, notoriously very aware of the risk and not really risk vectors as the media used to spread years ago* - but it takes only one.

(* and if you are fortunate enough to live in a developed country).


To all sex-workers and normal sexual beings, this is a good occasion to remind you all to be safe.


G. and I are spending the day in some special way, but there'll be more to this later.

My 6-Degrees of Separation with Belle de Jour  

Posted by H in , ,

This is just so unexpected and at the same time so statistically plausible that it made me smirk all day. I was having a conversation with some acquaintances when I learned that if I were to draw a line from me to the notoriously famous and lately extremely newsworthy Belle de Jour, I would need only one node to connect to her. And Actually, I could even do it through a good number of nodes...

It made me smile for various reasons, but first and foremost because I had no idea of this. It's quite amusing to think about the things that go unnoticed until they finally are under the spotlight for everybody to start chatting about, and to realize how they relate to you.
As it happens, through various people, I am connected to both Brooke Magnanti or even her alter ego Belle de Jour. And I both have personal and professional ties to both of these persona.

But what made me smile even more is simply that this simple fact, which looks so random and unlikely, and made me feel special for half-a-second until I realized the reality, is most probably a very common occurrence for a good number of other people, most of them being unaware of it.

Which brings me to wonder: how many die-hard anti-legalized-prostitution republicans are connected to Brooke Magnanti without even knowing it? How many could one day trip in the middle of a conversation if you could tell them "by the way, your friend X had a relationship of Y with Belle de Jour"?
Isn't it a bit fun to think that people who would demonize prostitutes could be linked to them in so many ways? I'd laugh my ass off if some guys who treat girls Amber like girl could be identified as someone related to another person in the business. Or if legislators ruling against sex-workers in criminal cases and minor offences could even be potentially linked as witnesses in some other cases.

Even better, how would they like to see themselves portrayed in Secret Diary of a Call Girl or an extended edition of Belle's book The Intimate Adventures of a London Call-Girl?

My Song of the Day (Shut Up)  

Posted by H in ,

Just a musical follow-up to my previous post about how G. and I may have been betting on the wrong horses. After all I said I was going to turn up the volume, and I thought of that one:

Shut the fuck up she said
I'm going fucking deaf
you're always too loud
everything's too loud

Now that all my friends left
this place is fucking dead
I want to move out
when can we move out
this shit has got to stop
I'll run away

Get the fuck up she said
your life is meaningless
it's going nowhere
you're going nowhere

You're just a fuck up she said
I'll live alone instead
she said "you don't care"
I know I don't care

I'll never ask permission from you
fuck off I'm not listening to you
I'm not coming home
I'm never going to come back home

I got too fucked up again
and passed out on the plane
tried to forget you
I can't forget you

No sleep on this flight
I'll think about the nights
we had to get through
how did we get through?

I'll never ask permission from you
fuck off I'm not listening to you
I'm not coming home
I'm never going to come back home
I'll run away

I think it's time that I should leave
I think it's time that I should leave
I think it's time that I should leave
I think it's time that I should leave

I'll never ask permission from you
fuck off I'm not listening to you
I'm not coming home
I'm never going to come back home
I'll run away

I think it's time for me to leave (I'll run away)
I think it's time for me to leave (I'll run away)
I think it's time for me to leave (I'll run away)
I think it's time for me to leave (I'll run away)




Our Bet on the Wrong Horses?  

Posted by H in ,

I have to say that I think there's a possibility for a round of "I told you so" hitting me in the face like a truck within the next few days. I'm probably going to regret it tomorrow or in a few days when I feel better, because I'll have given wind to the skeptics and satisfaction to some ill-minded readers, but that still feels right and part of the things I sworn myself to write here.


Let's just say things have not been that great with G. lately, as we've been fighting on and off a lot - but we always do that - and she has been getting a bit abusive, to say the least.


Not that she wasn't before. I guess to the naked eye, a lot of people would already the way she used to treat me abusive. Her job is one thing that I don't mind at all, so that's not really part of it. However her agressivity, her desire to control everything, and her lack of aptitude to take control over her life - and blame it on me not only when I don't offer my help right away but *also* when I try to help - are starting to get to me.

I don't know, maybe I'm just tired. I caught myself considering thoughts I didn't envision before. Moving out, leaving town for a while, going on a bike trip, moving to another country again, applying for different jobs. My life used to be a lot simpler before I met her, for so many reasons. For once, there's the fact that though we move a lot together, I used to move a lot more before. Now I don't; and when I do it's mostly for her sake. I miss that aspect of my life. Then she made it of course extremely financially unsafe. I used to be comfy, meaning I had enough to live with my job, travel a bit, and I was saving all the rest. For later, for family, for projects, even already for retirement, and for helping other people as well. Since I've met her I've lost all the security I had, jobs are an absolute necessity, and though I didn't use to spend money on much before - because that's my lifestyle and I don't like spending money on things that are not really useful, and I resist impulsive temptations for little things like an extra coffee or such things really easily - now I just *cannot* afford to spend it on anything: everything I don't use for rent, food and transportation is saved. And then spent on her. For her future career, our future plans, for the most part. But also a part only on her suddenly thinking that she deserves a break of life.

She does indeed, though I work my ass off (in a different way) and put in a lot of extra hours, and I barely every get a thank you, while I have to be understanding for everything she does and goes through. Which I think I did so far (okay, maybe not everything, nobody's perfect). Of course her job is hard to take, and I wouldn't want her to do more hours that just the bare minimum to save money for what she needs. But that's the problem, she doesn't really save that money, she just spends it. I don't know how it goes away that fast.

And she's a problem magnet. You know that type of person who always think things in life are so hard and complain about them, when all you have to do is get up your ass and do them, and then it takes only a few hours? Or the type of person who becomes the target of all possibles inconveniences. Loosing your wallet, loosing your purse, loosing your jewelry, loosing friends, getting scammed, getting busted, getting your agency busted, getting sick all the time.
But of course they prefer to blame it on other things. The credit crunch, the society, the government (always an easy one, that one), your ex-friends, your boyfriend, and, ah, yes, bad luck. Or even better: blame it on other people's good luck!

Well, that's my G.


And I'm getting so f*cking tired. Remember West Wing's Leo McGarry? Well that's how tired I am. I feel like I take all my strength from knowing I'm doing the right thing for her, and that it will be over at some point - and I really know it will - when bad things are behind us, and also from those crazy things we sometimes do together (like the camping trip I talked about here, or crazy concerts, festivals, parties and stuff). But I'm starting to be literally physically, nervously and even emotionally drained. And I know how to deal with the first two, but the third one as never been a big thing for me and that's a brand new sensation that I'm not liking so much right know. And I *HATE* myself for not finding the energy to snap out of that state of lethargy.

And I feel like I don't have any support from her. If I don't support her, it's a full day of fighting ahead of me, or I can usually trade it for 3 days of silent treatment, during which she'll stop doing anything civil while, well, I just keep doing the usual stuff, meaning living my own life but also taking caring of our common life: cleaning, grocery shopping, laundering, watching out for her in any way I can, and helping her to prepare her classes, reminding her of whatever appointments she has (and won't talk about here) and having food and drinks ready when she comes home no matter what time. But then if she asks for a massage at 1am when I've been up for more than 40 hours and I try to decline and say I'll do it the next day (which I always DO god dammit!) then she crawls back into her shell, is grumpy again and goes to sleep without a word, and tells me stuff like "fine, I'll never ask you again".

*[insert scream of slow agony here]*

But it's unfair. Of course it's unfair to me, like so many people keep telling me. But it's unfair to her as well. Unfair to think that you can *expect* from someone who had her childhood and life that she'll be normal, whatever that means. I always feel like I'm living with a freaking teenager. Because I am. She never grew up. And I don't think she'll ever will. Either it's too late, or she's not in a mindset where she accepts any criticism and I don't know what event - I lost faith in words, I've tried too many of those - could finally have some effect on her and realize that there are ways of dealing with things, and that they're not hers. You don't shut off for a week when someone talks to you in a moody way (especially when you're the Queen of Moodyland). You don't snap at people on the street and keep rambling and cursing for ten minutes just because some things didn't go the way you wanted, or because an impromptu problem occurred, or because your friends didn't call back.
You don't have to always think that people should be on call because they have a mobile phone, and always call back when you tried to call but didn't leave a message. Yes, I agree, it's better. And *most* people would do, *most* of the time. *Sometimes*, *some* people have lots of things to do and don't call back, or don't ask exactly the right question to ask how you've been or forget to show interest in some part of your life which they could not possibly care about in the first place, because it's totally alien to her. It doesn't mean they're not your friends, or bad people, it means they're having a f*cking hard time, like *you*, and just cannot take any more of the world's misery on their shoulders and wish you'd do the same and cut them some slack. And alienating them for that is a bit of a knee-jerk jackass act.

But what do you want. From mentally abused to beaten child, to child-worker, to child top-less barmaid and stripper with implants, to escort, how do you expect things to go smoothly?
How do you expect to have a social scale that defines commonly accepted concepts like truth, hope, trust, *mutual* social equity and ethics?
How do you do that when all your previous boyfriends and girlfriends cheated on you, treated you like dirt, beat you - giving you a warm reminder of what it felt like to be repressed and almost enslaved as a child again - and demeaned you, stole from you and threatened to out you as a sex-worker.
And when your closest friends are part of this same industry, or if not, of a social circle where the same affinity for problems lives on with a thousand lives to spare, how can you not *think* that everything in the world is supposed to be this way (because this world seems equally as foreign to anyone leaving in the normal one and thinking such things cannot happen and exist, or only on very rare occasions, isn't it so?).


But fair or unfair... I think I've had enough. Enough of this shit, the poison. Mind you, it's not really due to escorting itself. But I wouldn't dare to say it isn't part of the equation. If people ask me if I didn't think it was bound to fail that this was foreseeable: sure. Of course it was, I'd say the same to anyone in a similar situation. But that's because I'm pessimistic and aim for the lowest point on the horizon in any case. Yet I'd still tell all these people that I *do* strongly believe it is possible. Even if we might be about to become a casualty of this environment.



I have tons of posts in storage, which are each more or less finished because I wrote them to describe things on the moment, but with only a very short time on my hands every time (as I just explained above in this post). So I might or might not finish them and post them here, no matter what happens.


Right now, I just don't want to think. I''m going to crank up the volume on my stereo, open a can of coke and have a long relaxing drink peering out the window on the street and chatting with the occasional passersby, just because that sounds like the right thing to do to meditate, relax and reflect for the end of a shiny afternoon. And then I'll go for a run.
That's all I can think of for the moment, though I'm a bit scared of giving it a shot, as usually it drains me physically (giving me a good night's sleep afterwards) and cleans my nervousness. I feel anew and afresh every time afterwards. Yet I feel like this is going to fail miserably today.

Their Stories: Fake Escort Agency Scams (2)  

Posted by H in , , , ,

Here's the story I told about and linked to in my earlier post about a fake escort agency scam. I quote it here for reference:

2pm got a call from a guy claiming to work for an agency.
Said his name was Michael
This guy was very well spoken used both flattery and displayed a extensive use of the English language.
He had no accent that I could make out, but did speak very posh, every word was spoken properly with full pronunciation .

Said that the agency he worked for supplied girls to rich businessmen and musicians, etc.
And that the agency was looking for a few girls like myself to come on board and work with them.
Security was tight because these clients did not want kiss and tell stories in the newspaper.
Also said that the client doesn’t pay the girl the agency does.
Clients pay up to and over 100,000 a year membership to this agency, and they are selective.
All clients are vetted and must submit a medical check every quarter.
All girls had to have an interview.

When asked how the girls got paid. He said, An agent from the company would meet the girl before the job to hand over her cash.
BUT, That was after you were a part of the company, the interview you got paid afterward and before your first job.
You were to meet said financial agent on the top floor of the hotel so as to not attract attention in the lobby.

When asked how much the girls got paid, he replied anywhere from £500 to £30,000 a night.

Was then told that it was not a scam and also that they would get a girl from the agency to call and chat .

2:30pm - call comes in from a girl named Bonnie, who claimed to work for this agency.
This girl had an American/Canadian accent and claimed she was from Vancouver.
Now All questions were answered in a methodical manner she was very good this woman.
Claimed to be on tour with a band at present .
Stated that again all clients submitted a medical if any were found to have anything their membership to this place was revoked.
There were 3 categories 1st was normal everything covered which you were paid £500 - £1,000 for the hour depending.
2nd was A level which meant you would do standard stuff but all unprotected. And were paid up to £3,000 per hour.
3rd was A+1 and that meant anything went, such as watersports on you, client tying you up, Domination. Double penetration. Etc but this was paid £5,000 per hour.

Overnight appointments lasted 6 hours that gave you a grand total of £30,000 in a night.

She had never had any problems with clients no violent punters and NO DRUGS either her or her clients.

Worked when she wanted , could either work at home or travel internationally

Asked about her interview to which she said… she had three male escorts in a hotel room and all of them had her at the same time. It was something of a speciality of hers.

ALL SEX AT THE INTERVIEW WAS UNPROTECTED.

As was sex with the client,

The interview was paid for by the company both for your time at your normal rates and for the male escorts time.
(They have both on staff)

So hangs up after chatting with bonnie and waits for her to contact them and let them know your ok with things.

3pm gets a call from another male with the company asking about services .
This male had a very distinct Irish accent , and was just there to get what services you were comfortable doing and what you weren’t.
Asks to speak to another escort as was allowed to talk to as many as I wanted.
Requests a London based escort as living in the UK want to know from a UK based escort.
No problem finishes taking details and hangs up.

3:15pm phone rings and a UK based escort tells me similar things to the first.
Did sound a bit drugged up, and did mention that before she worked for this company she had a profile on adult work.

3:30 pm Michael calls back again explains everything again and wants to know if I am satisfied that this is not a scam.
Then asks how soon did I want to work, and could I do an appointment that evening.
Agrees and starts to get ready.
Calls to confirm that I am ok to do interview and job after it.. Then says client will pay for 2 hours but wants a submissive secretary. To be paid at £5000 per hour so £10,000 total

Given two lines that client want saying.
I would do anything MR x to get my job back.
And I want your cock in my mouth and whatever comes out I want you to watch me swallow.
These two lines were to be said at both interview and to the client.
The interview was to be a mock run of the actual event
Gets called every 20 mins to check how things are coming.


5pm ready and in car on way to Heathrow airport only then do I get told the destination
Holiday Inn at junction 4 at Heathrow airport.
Gets there at 8pm due to traffic.

Male escort met on 6th floor gets to room, forgo saying lines immediately and ask a few questions.
Was told by him that he got into it through a friend and that he went through the whole process.

Gets down to the appointment.
Was filmed giving a BJ for about 5mins.

Then was put on the bed and mouthfucked till I was sick.
He was told to stop several times which he did but went straight back to it after a few mins.
Throat was really sore and tonsils were displaced.
Had unprotected vaginal sex for about 2 mins maybe 6/8 thrusts in total
Then back to mouth fucking.
Came in mouth.
Spat in mouth several times not sure why really (managed to roll it off the tongue
Then proceeded to piss into my mouth.

The whole thing lasted 25 mins if that.
Washed up a little and he went his way after a little chat and I went to top floor to collect my money for that job and the next.

Sat on 10th floor for 15mins. Before phone rang at 8:45 Michael again, was everything ok etc,
Guy with money should be on his way up now and then call cuts out.

No more calls after that waited 15 more mins just to be sure.
Paid for parking and left.

Called police on way home.

CPS won’t prosecute because of those two lines that were said, they have me, and all defence has to say was those lines were me consenting.

Are looking into the scam though.

All was done from withheld numbers.

Thanks to Galahad for posting it in the first place, and to the girl who suffered this for passing it on.

Their Stories: Fake Escort Agency Scams  

Posted by H in , , ,

I just came across this story on Punternet (via Sarah's blog) of a girl scammed by a fake escort agency and coerced into having sex with the people who posed as recruiters.

This is incredibly sad, and even doubly so because a third of the crowd would say that they would have seen it coming, another third would say she got what she deserved, and the rest would try to comfort her but of course to no avail.
And even worse, they f*cked her apparently roughly (I guess it fits the interview process, as they need to prepare you for what's next and some clients), and without any protection. And considering it seems to be an on-going thing, you can imagine what the risks are, given the environment: crazy dirty assholes who go around fucking girls without experience and who might also have fucked other people without safety net.


It touches me particularly because I know G. could have fallen for this sort of thing at the beginning, both the escort agency scam and the unsafe sex, because I know she used to be careless. Hell I still have doubts when she tells me she never fucked any client without a condom (though still had to had an abortion years ago, probably because of one, but says it was probably just an accident and that is very probably what happened).
I guess in all her misery, she was lucky at the time to not enter this business via the worst possibles doors and was not introduced by the worst possible persons (still, not a pretty picture).
I feel terrible for this girl, and totally helpless.

This is rape, and rape in one of its lowest forms. Not that is can have any good form, but you could sort of think that someone using a girl's need for money and desire to put a lot of things aside to get into this business is a dirtier scumbag than the one who rapes a girl when he's drunk to death. Not by much, but the distinction stays.

Come to think of it, some of these practices can even be legal, as they could have protected themselves into asking for her consent. As it is the case for hundreds of girls who are "discovered' in the porn industry (the discovery being usually more or less a rape already), then really used and drained for the time they can serve and as long as they are still fresh on the scene, and then dumped to move on to the next girl. Hey, plenty of fishes out there, it's easy for these people to hunt for the "next big thing", so that the big thing doesn't have to be asked to stick around for too long and you can dispose of it for a younger model with similar features.
Wonder if Woodman ever had this type of legal issues, for instance. I consider the guy an absolute scumbag. No matter what the excuses and justifications, I don't care if he would have warned the girls before hand or not, the whole process is just horrible. Lots of these girls will end up making lots of money, but what are the long term ramifications on their future lives, or what are the lives they could have had? And what about the ones who don't make much money of it, and just got crushed on the way?
Sorry, I got lost in my rant.

Anyway, this story is just wrong and sad. The sort of things that makes you lose a bit of humanity in you.


I'll quote the whole story in a next post because it's so sad I wouldn't want to lose it if it gets removed from Punternet one day.

Your Stories - A Male Escort Story  

Posted by H in ,

First of all thanks again to the people who have been writing lately to send me their own stories.


I am glad to be able to share some of them when you allow me to, and feel free to post the directly on the newsgroup if you feel like it.

Yesterday* I found in my inbox this story of a male escort. I encountered a few male escorts along the way, but definitely not as many as their female counterparts, therefore I think it is always interesting when one of them accepts to share his story.

Here's the story of Stephen Michaels, as he sent it:

I use to be a male escort for women and want to tell my story.

Only a few close friends know about this and I have been wanting to share my story. For 5 years in the early 1990’s, I worked as a male escort for women. In high school and college, I had a reputation as a “lady’s man”. I never had any problems bedding down attractive women. In 1991, I graduated from college with an advanced business degree and found a position at a major company in Dallas.

I found a very nice apartment and I became friends with neighbor who was obviously a lady’s man and we would share our stories. One day he told me that he worked on the side for a Dinner Date company. These companies offered woman dates to socialize, go to parties or other functions. He would treat them well while they were out in public and take these women home. He told me that most of these women wanted to get laid and they paid him for it. The Dinner Date company charged $50 an hour with a 4 hour minimum and the cost of the event for the two of us. I would receice 75% of the fee. At the time, I found it hard to believe but eventually I came around to believe.

He suggested that I apply, which I did and he recommended me to the company. He gave me some tips how to go about getting employment. I got a phone interview which was quickly followed by an on-site interview. They said that I had to go out on 2 Dinner Dates with two different female employees. I had to pay for these dinners and the 2 woman were to judge. I drove a nice new car, came well dressed and engaged them in conversation allowing them to talk about themselves. I did get hired by them and they told me that I would be fired if the company found out I was having sex with any of the clients. My neighbor told me not to worry about it, they were just covering their ass and they would never find out about it unless I said something. My buddy told me how to go about it. He was right.

The woman who would use this service fall into 3 categories. The first were women in their 40’s or older. They were looking for younger men to bed them. The second was professional women in their 20’s and 30’s, who did not have time to nurture a relationship. The last group were fat and unattractive women who were desperate to have a man share her bed with her.

When I went out with these woman, I would always treat them like queens. I would show up in clean and waxed car.. I would be wearing a nice suit, my hair would be trimmed and, of course, I was impeccably clean. I would go to her door and greet them. They would invite them in. I would compliment then on their place, how it looked and how it smelled. When she was ready to leave with me, I would tell her how beautiful she looked. I would walk her to the car holding her hand and open the car door like gentleman. When driving her to the event, I would engage her in small talking trying to understand her better. When we got to the event, I would get out, open her door and escort her in, holding her hand. At the event, she was my total focus. I would not engage other women and allowed her to do what she wanted. If she was talking to others, I would be by her side listening, nodding and even laughing. When we were eating dinner, I would allow her to do most of the talking and kept the focus on her. I would not drink any alcohol and allow here to have 3 or 4 drinks to loosen her up. Throughout all this, I would gently touch her hands and arms. All this is here getting slowly aroused. At the right time, I would start putting my arm around her waist and discreetly put my hand on her ass, rubbing it gently. As the night progress, I would do this more frequently. When, it was time to leave, I would get her coat and walk with here as she said her good-byes. When we would walk out of the event, I would escort her hand in hand to the car, opening the door for her.

While riding her home, I would tell her how beautiful she looked and tell her she was a wonder guest. I would put one hand on her leg as we were driving and when stopped at a light, I would gently kiss her. When we go to her place, I would open her car door and escort her into her place hand in hand. Almost always she would invite me in. That was the time she would be the horniest and the most nervous, if she had not been through this before. I would be patient, never making the first move or give her any signal. Eventually, she would proposition me. At that time, I would hold and kiss. I would keep her close to me and them I would quietly say, “sweetheart, this is going to cost you $150” and wait to see her reaction. Often it would be shock and then she would start begging me. She would say something like, “I thought you wanted me.” I would say “I do, but I am a male escort and this is my job” and wait and say nothing. My silence forces her to say something and it was almost always yes. Sometime, she would give me money, other times, she would write a check. I would promise I would spend the night and make love with her all night long. We would eventually fall asleep and, in the morning, wake up in each other’s arms. I would be sure we made love again and then take a shower together. When I was ready to leave, I would give her a business card, so she could contact me anytime she wanted to, give her a passionate kiss and leave.

To be a male escort, you need to be good looking, a great listen, understand how women think and treat her like a lady. Remember, it is all about her.

* EDIT: actually that was a while ago, but it was saved as draft... whoops...

My Movie Review - The Girlfriend Experience  

Posted by H in ,

Actually, there's no review as I haven't seen it yet, but I am definitely interest in watching this movie, The Girlfriend Experience by Steven Soderbergh.

I wonder if it is going to be blatantly dull like so many movies about this industry, or if it will actually bring some truth to the picture and also not dwell into the same-old die-hard cliches and the fancy, eye-catching Hollywoodian lighting effects.

Wikipedia contains this plot summary:

November, 2008. Escort Chelsea works in New York, but her clients have suffered since the collapse of the banks. Her boyfriend, Chris, is a trainer who is also struggling to make money as most of his clients will only pay for the short term plans.
Chris is asked by a client to go to Vegas for a weekend away, which he initially turns down as he feels Chelsea will not agree to it.
Chelsea meets with a first time client, a writer from Los Angeles, and they click. He is married with children, but after one date wants to spend a weekend with her. Chris does not want Chelsea to go, but after an argument they both go away for the weekend. Chris goes to Las Vegas with his client, and Chelsea flies out to meet her client. However her client has changed his mind.
Chelsea meets with various clients, some of whom just talk, others who engage in sex. She also meets with an interviewer who interviews her about her work. She is also blackmailed by the owner of a website which reviews escorts, when she refuses his advances he gives her a bad review.
Chelsea and Chris break up.

Yes, spoilers, and no alerts. I don't care, the point is more for me to see the connection to the life of real escorts.

The resume sounds promising though, and I am curious to see what it is going to be like. There seems like there's definitely something I can relate to, both in terms of general storyline as well as when it comes to some specific parts of the job. The trip to Vegas arc reminds me a bit of G.'s latest escorting trip around the world, which I partly presented on this blog. And still need to finish recounting, actually, though like I already mentioned (did I? I know wanted to, but I've been out of touch lately) I realized telling the full story would give too many hints about G.'s clients identity, and G. herself. So I sort of binned everything I wrote about it, figuring I'd just rewrite something shorter. Anyway... getting lost here...

Back to The Girlfriend Experience: my biggest worry is, though I like Soderbergh, I'm afraid his movies are usually not that controversial to me. They aim for the controversy, but hide behind the smoke-screen of humour, visual effects and heroic tales.


Oh and I just realized Sasha Grey is starring in it, so I guess Alexa will definitely be watching it too as she seems to be a fan (Okay, maybe not, I have no idea, but she talks about her a few times on her blog :)

Though I'm sure lots of prostitutes will not see from a good eye that the main actress is a porn actress, as they sometimes tend to pretend to relate to their issues while they actually don't, and vice-versa. That's always a big mess, I'm sure people reading this know what I'm talking about (and visitors accustomed to other blogs following the same topic can probably think of a name or two, which I won't cite).

For me, that's unfortunately already one step in the direction of what I don't want the movie to be, as Sasha Grey is a pretty mainstream adult actress. if you can call the adult industry something that is mainstream. But considering the money involved, I'd say you can!

Prostitution.ProCon.org - My Site Recommendation of the Day  

Posted by H in ,

I actually don't really know if this is that good a website and I wouldn't necessarily voice a strong opinion in its favor, but I just came across it and would still recommend it as "worth checking out".

http://prostitution.procon.org/

ProCon is a website allowing people to register a build a (theoretically) objective view of a conceptual matter and discuss it. Apparently, someone had a go at a ProCon variant to discuss legalized prostitution. Though the introductory material and overview are a bit simple to the point of a being a little funny (but on the other hand, I thought it well reflected the burlesque of this debate's reality on some points), you can find some interesting facts and figures if you have the patience to dig in a little bit longer.

Happy reading.

Your Stories on Prostitution Stings  

Posted by H in , ,

Following the previous series of posts, I received an e-mail from someone named "Patricia", who asked me to publish her story. Here it is, unedited.

I hope this might help some to get an idea of what they might get themselves into, or make them realize the importance of being extremely careful about screening your clients and knowing the surroundings where you will provide services, so as to not make your case worse.


Recently, I was arrested in an escort prostitution sting. I have been doing research on-line to see if I can help my case and I found this website. I decided to share my story so if there are females working as an escort or contemplating doing it, they may know what they are up against.

I am 20 year old college student in the Upstate, NY. I been escorting for about a year. I thought I knew the ropes, the likelihood of getting busted was very low, I knew what to do and, if I got busted, it was unlikely to cause me problems. Was I ever wrong!

I have put ads on the Backpage website for escorting. I got an email and accepted a client and I was to meet him at a major hotel. I drove to the hotel and went to the room. I walked in, looked around and everything seemed in order. We started a little small talk and neither of us was going to get to the point right away. I decided to break the ice by saying "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours" as I have done in the past. The man dropped his pants and he had an erection and I raised my skirt and dropped my panties. I touch his penis and he touch my vagina. This has been my modus operandi when I go out escorting. He told me he wanted to have intercourse with me. I told him it would be $300 and I supply the condom. I always use the best. He gave me the money and I gave him the condom. Both of us got undressed. He asked me to lay on the bed and start by masturbating because he liked to watch that. So, I laid on the bed and started to masturbate. This went on for several minutes and, at the time, I was enjoying entertaining him. Then all of a sudden, three men from the adjoining room came in and said, "your under arrested for prostitution." I was immediately handcuffed and I was told to stand there. The police searched my clothes and purse while one of the cops took pictures of me nude while I was handcuffed. After they were finished, they uncuffed me, allowed me to dress, recuffed me and led me out of the hotel into a police car and took me to the police station.

At the police station, I was booked and then they informed me of the charges. They charged me with two felonies. Felony prostitution because they set the sting up within a mile of a school and use of a computer during commission of a crime. They told me they were going to seize my car and computer because they were used in the commission of a crime. I chose not to answer any question and they release me on bail. My roommate bailed me out. The worse was yet to come.

The next day the story was in the local papers, on the local television news and on their websites with all the details of my arrest and my picture. I was publically humilated!

I hired an attorney for $2000 and, if it went to trial, it would be another $5000. He felt he could get the charges reduced by the District Attorney to a misdemenor since I had no police record. He said, if I pled guilty to the misdemenor, I would probably get a $500 fine,get 5 days in jail and would get my record expunge in a year if I stayed out of trouble. My attorney and I met with the District Attorney's office and we were shocked by what happened next.. They said they would drop the use of a computer during commission of a crime charge, which carried up to 5 years in prison, if I pled guilty to the felony prostitution and they would recommend a 3 to 6 month sentance in the county jail. My attorney argued with them about the harshness of their position considering I had no priors. The District Attorney's office said that they were going to make an example out of me and the 2 other girls they arrested that day because the hotels were complaining about prostitution. If I chose not to accept the deal, they would prosecute me for both felonies and if convicted, I could get 7 years in state prison for both charges. What happen next both shocked my attorney and myself. They had a hidden video camera in the room and told us they would show the video of me undressing and masturbating along with the pictures taken by the police at trial. They told me that any evidence presented at trail is a public record and after the trial anyone could get a copy of the video and pictures..

My attorney says at preliminary hearing, he will ask the judge to reduce the charges to a misdemenor, but it is unlikely that he will successful and that I will have to decide to take the offer or risk jury trial. He told me with evidence they have, it was highly likely I would be convicted. This is what I am up against. So be warned!


Thanks a lot to Patricia for sharing this, and again all my best wishes to deal with this mess.

Their Stories, Their Responsibilities? (Part 3)  

Posted by H in , ,

As a follow-up to my reply, "Mark" sent me the following to clarify a few points, and I'll disclose them in the same spirit as the previous one.

Just some more thoughts. I realize some people might think I used and exploited this girl. But the fact still remains, she is a whore and she did it voluntarily and she is accepting all the risks of it, including pregnancy. It was her responsibility to have birth control. Every other time I would get a whore, I would get blow jobs and one non-negotiable was I would not pay for a blow job if I had to wear a condom and I would always want to cum in their mouth. If they would agree to that, I would ask them to swallow and it is amazing how many of these whores were willing to swallow my load. If the whore did not want me to cum in their mouth, I would lay back, not react to the blow job and then just blow it in their mouth when they were not expecting it. And on quite a few occassions, I would end up blowing my load right down to their stomach. That was always a lot of fun!!


This will be the penultimate post on this series, before I publish some thoughts, now that you've got everything.

(Sorry, realized this was sitting in my "drafts" folder for a while. I simply forgot about it.)

Their Stories, Their Responsibilities? (Part 2)  

Posted by H in ,

I posted yesterday the e-mail a person identified as "Mark" sent me, where he tells me (the vaguely gruesome) story of how he might have gotten pregnant a gullible escort.

I think it's only fair that I post what I answered, as if his e-mails get full transparency, so should mine.

Like I said yesterday in my other post, I don't have that much time for chit-chat and blogging lately, but I took 15 minutes to write an answer. Which maybe wasn't well articulated or anything, and I'll follow up later, but that was what I replied on the moment.


Hey Mark,


Thanks for sharing this.


First things first: I would actually consider you a very low piece of
shit, but anyone is entitled to their opinions, aren't they? And who
am I t judge who you are and what makes you tick?...

Though as part of my personal philosophy, I don't quite believe in
luck, fate or other tricks and believe in people being responsible for
what happens to them. It's like having a terrible relationship with
someone or being a player and screwing girls. You are responsible for
doing it and you could try to be more considerate of course, but the
girls on the other side are partly responsible for being ignorant of
how things run on that side of the mirror.
So I believe that girl in your story pretty much had it coming and I
wouldn't want to inflict a guilt trip on you. Or at least not 100%.
Let just say I'd draw the line at using prostitution services. That's
fine, you have fun. It's still apparently illegal where you are, but
that's 2 consenting adults doing whatever they want. Impregnanting a
girl and getting a kick out of it is a bit over the line though, if
you ask me.



Would you allow me to post this on the blog? After all it's about the
sex-industry in general and the things you encounter. I think it would
be up to the standard to show girls or guy wanting to get into the
business that they can encounter, well, you. Or someone similar.

Also, I guess it serves a purpose as to show you should never trust anyone.


Of course I won't show neither the e-mail address nor the name, and
*if you want me to* I can change details that could help to screen or
identify you. How much you were charged, the number of kids in the
picture, or even the whole picture thing and the vasectomy could be
shortened to hide specifics. After all, I wouldn't like to get an
e-mail from a woman telling me she was that girl and now she'd be
happy to have your information and track you down. (Wait, actually...
That could be a rather comic story with some karmic justice to it...).


A note though: 150 to 200 is a pretty darn low price for an escort,
that's pretty much what you'd be expecting for street prostitution
without any bell and whistle. Not that it means that the girls doing
this are less competent at what they do and knock your socks off, but
you may want to try to experience something more. More professional,
more classy, and more fun, with everything that goes around it for few
hours and not only getting blown.
But that's your call. I wouldn't want to encourage you in keeping
doing this, but I thought hey, maybe he doesn't know. Or that's just
how he likes it.


Let me know if you're fine with me publishing it.
And if you've got other stories, please feel free to share. And don't
worry, I don't publish anything as long as you don't want to. I
consider that if you wanted it done that way, you'd have posted a
comment or told me upfront. I'll be waiting for a green light for
this.


Cheers,

H.

My Absence  

Posted by H in

I apologize in advance and as well as in retrospect for having been either away or lazy for the past 2 months.

This weblog is (as a matter of fact) still a big part of my life and I feel bad for not writing. Especially as I know, by the look at my inbox, that people are reading and writing, and that even some girls wanting to get in or out of the sex-industry are turning to me and others to enquire about escorting and other services.

I an deeply sorry for failing these readers. And also a bit sorry for not keeping the others ones entertained, but that is a bit secondary.

Long story short (because after all I don't have to justify myself that much for a virtual absence :), I've been traveling a lot, working a lot, and helping a few friends out. Whenever I had an internet connection, I'd connect and read, maybe start to write a few things, to finally only decide not to press the "SEND" button for reasons unknown to you.

I'll try to make things up to you soon and make things better.

That was the stereotypical "I know I've been away from this blog but I promise this won't happen again but you know you should not believe one word I'm saying here, right?"-post of the month.

I promise this won't happen again

Their Stories, Their Responsibilities? (Part 1)  

Posted by H in ,

From time to time I receive e-mails from visitors, who tell me their own stories. Things they did, things that happened to them.

Some of them do not lead to anything interesting and I just do not feel the need to re-publish them, while some prefer to remain anonymous and I respect their privacy.

But others have substance and their owners grant me the right (or even want me) to publish their stories "as is", or with minor modifications. Here's one of them, untouched.

I've been pretty busy lately so I won't comment on it right away, that will be for an upcoming post.

I found your website (http://mgfiae.weblogs.media.infocrumbs.net/). I read a lot of your site and found it quite interesting.

I am a hobbyist. For years, when I go on business trips, I call escort service. I always get a blow job. I always ask these girls if they have boyfriends and the all do. These guys are completely clueless and I think it is total riot. I have had a lot of girls, like your girl friend. Who knows, maybe she has sucked me.

The best escort story I have is the one and only time I ever fucked whore. As I often do, when I get into my hotel, I look in the phone book and call an escort service for a girl. About 40 minutes after I placed a call, this drop stunningly beautiful strawberry blonde enterred my room (she was a natural strawberry blonde). She gets in there are says it would cost me $150. That was fine with me because I budget $200. Then she pulled out a piece of paper and starts reading the dos and donts (no touching, keep at least 5 feet between us, etc...). All of a sudden, I go "geez, I am looking for some sex." She did a double take and started talking about what the escort service told her (she would be fired if they knew she was involved in prositution). This turned out to be her whoring gig. I told her that she can expect to have sex every time she answers a call because escort services are front for prostituion. She thinks about it and then says. "ok. it is going to cost you $40 more." I told her, "what they don't know won't hurt them." I said ok and she asked me if I had a condom. Since I always get blow jobs (and I was expecting to get one this time), I did not have any. When I told her no, she said, "geez, I am fertile." I am immedaitely thought I had to fucking this chick. I told her I had a vasectomy several years before. She said to me, "you're not lying?". I pulled my out wallet and show her a picture I had of my sister's 4 kids and I told her I was paying child support and I don't need to be paying anymore child support. She agreed. I gave her $190 and we undressed.

I happened to ell endowed and she first mentioned that I haad the biggest cock she has ever seen. We got in bed and fucked mish. I asked her if her boyfriend knew what she was doing and she said, "what he does not know won't hurt him." As I was fucking her all I could think about combing into her fertile womb. She was moaning and screaming. Eventually, I came inside her. It was the best fuck I ever had and she told me it was the best fuck she ever had and she had cum 3 times. It really turned her on knowing that guys would pay her to fuck and she would keep doing this if the "sex was that good". We were kissing and I asked her, "so how does it feel to be a whore" and she blushed and did not want to anwwer the question. Eventually, she said she could not have imagined doing this when she was in high school.

She got dressed and we kissed at the door. Before she left, I said, "just remember, you born a virgin and now your are going to die a whore". She gave me this wry smile and then left.

I would have loved to been a fly on the wall when she found out she was pregnant!!

Mark

My Online Male Courtesans, Their Idiocy  

Posted by H in ,

Yes, *my* online *male courtesans*. Not G.'s. Mine.


Since I've joined Facebook, I get a pretty decent amount of requests for people to become my friends. And considering my profile picture could be a little misleading (and that the average IQ of the world's population depressingly seems to be going down at rocket-speed), guess what percentage of that charming population is male?

Bottom line, every time I connect, I have idiots (in general) asking me immediately for online sex, or private encounters, or trying to "charm" (laughing my ass off here) me with the dumbest pick up lines ever invented.

I thought I'd do a small compilation of these, but I could not resist but to post the last one I received:

hey...my gf is goin out of town next month...let me know if your free?...can meet up sometime...stayin at orchard rd..cheers

Isn't that plain sweet? Not only that guy wants to pay for sex (ethics subject to debate here...), but also obviously only does it behind his girlfriend's back, and most importantly is sending that to a dude (me) who quite despises this job and even more the gentlemen like him on the other side.
That picture was just so surrealistic that I couldn't help to laugh...

That being said, sometimes some interesting conversations come out of these improbable encounters, and idiots like the one I just mentioned probably wouldn't even go as far as to buy sex from me if I really were an escort and are just looking around and satisfying their curiosity. And the rest are just lame online players who are lurking around for some hypothetic bimbo dream girl who would be hovering around the Facebook limbos, waiting for such a desirable White Knight.

It sort of makes you loose all hope and respect in humanity.


Anyway, sorry for staying below the radar for a while. I haven't been reading nor writing in almost a month, waiting for G. to come back. Well, actually I have a few things lined up, that I wrote during the last month, but I never got around to posting them. I'll try to do that soon and tell you about what happen to G., me, and us in general lately. And until then I'll try to catch up with all the blogs and articles I haven't been reading.


In the meantime, I'll see who else wants to date me online, or wonders if I do bareback or if I would be available on Friday for Hell knows what...

Her Third Life (Getting a Grip ... or Not?)  

Posted by H in

Last time we left G. on this story line, she was now in cruise-control-mode to become a high-paid stripper. She did not intend to keep doing this forever though. But she still wants the high-life. The dilemma remains.

When she's not half-drunk every night or half-baked every morning, she realizes that she misses deeply some parts of her life, some things she enjoyed doing when she was a normal child, not that long ago. And she longs for it, and considering she's got the money, she's decided to get it. She sets aside enough money to get started with her passion and develops her talent in that area of hers. She sleeps until late in the morning, is a very dedicated self-taught artist in the afternoon, and during the night.

When she reaches, quite rapidly, a satisfying level of mastery at her art, she makes it to another city where she enrolls in a prestigious and expensive school under her real-name.

Things start to get straighter, for a while, but there's this constant fear of seeing familiar faces appear at every corner. Strip-club clients, violent ex-boyfriends, manipulative ex-girlfriends, and above all fearsome relatives. Cars and strangers seen from afar who remotely recall scenes from past times and now really distant places still force her to turn into dark-alleys and brace herself for unpleasant encounters, until she relaxes and walks away. She never completely lets go off this fear.

But then the studies is more expensive than she thought, and studying during the day and bar-tending and stripping at night is not that easy. It worns you out quite quickly, and now that she has found her profound career call, she doesn't want to let go.

She gets out of school temporarily to concentrate and making cash and get back in. When she's at school, she's 100% into it and amazes teachers and peers, both for her very uncommon and sometimes odd and uneducated behavior - as if she would not be aware of the standard social boundaries - and her dedication to tasks at hand. She's not a typical straight-A's student, because she does not focus on every aspects of it, but the ones that care don't leave much room for improvement.


But the better she gets, the more work it requires, the more time, and even the more travel to attend events. And, naturally, more money.

And she goes heavier than ever on alcohol and drugs, the sacred elements of creativity in artistic spheres, and the only pieces of enlightenment and joy one can get when working like a mad person without any external sources of entertainment, if you except the mere pleasure of attracting more and more attention as time goes by, and to feel more and more pleased yourself by flirtatious and sexual encounters in your underground scene.

After a while she cannot take it anymore: she needs money to reach her goals, more time to focus on them and enjoying life, and more of both to go back to the high-life she misses so much, the one where before her 15s she could afford to really rent places on her own without concern in fancy towers in city centers. She wants the clothes, the party time and the fun back, because art is more about passion than fun, and work is just depleting.

So, when you are a tall, foxy and not so innocent girl about to enter the second half of your teens, and you need a crazy shit-load of money without working a freakishly high amount of manhours per week, what do you do?

Our First Encounter (Part 2)  

Posted by H in ,

This is a follow-up to "Our First Encounter".


Yes, you got the final part right: I got kicked out of the freakin' room!!

That was sort of unexpected. I mean I was of course already starting to have my nebulous brain trying to figure out what all that happened just meant, if we were on the one-night-stand basis or the possible fuck-buddies road. But damned, usually I get to spend the night until breakfast or lunch, or to get away with a leaving if she doesn't want me to stay and it's clear that there's nothing there.

But when we're both in a guy's house for 2 days, where the hell am I supposed to go? I thought sharing the bed was so logical a solution that there was not even a need to discuss it. Apparently I was wrong.

Please show yourself to the door, miss G. doesn't like cuddling, kisses and the embrace of the drunken lover.

Or at least that's how she used to be.


The next day was the weirdest ever. I didn't mind it that much, but apparently she did. The kicking-me out part gave me the impression I was not welcome for the rest of the journey. Apparently I was. Well-done, dumb-ass, way to pick up the signals!

We barely spoke 2 words for the rest of the day until we all got out of the house to the cars to take us back to the city. Everybody apparently carefully avoided to look at any of us, which I did not notice, and thought was completely normal (I don't care about people, sorry). She thought it was horrible and even a bit humiliating. I'm still trying to apologize for that... I had no clue, and she looked like such a strong person and like she was the one who started the whole thing, that I never had the impression it could have looked like I just used her and ditched her in the morning.

It's only at that last moment, when we were about to step in separate cars, that I finally came to my senses and thought that for once I could make an effort to bring something valuable into my life and not fuck it up and opened the car's door for her and asked for her number (scared shitless, again, ladies and gentlemen).
I was always so scared of having that thing happening in my life, and always ran away from it, that I have no idea what made me think that could be different.

Some would say it was just meant to be, that we recognized each other, or something of the sort. I don't know, and I don't believe things work that way. I think I just took a chance. I think she played with me that night, and I went for it; and I think I took a chance in the morning, and that she went for it too.



That's about it. I don't know why, I felt like sharing this.
We still can't explain most of what happened.

I'm missing her right now.

Our First Encounter  

Posted by H in ,

We often think about how things started between and how crazy they were. I won't give too much details here of course, but I still feel like writing about it. I don't feel like writing about anything related to her job now.

We did not really hit it off right away the first time we met. Actually we remained distant, because that's how we both are. But apparently she thought I was super cute and she, well, wanted to fck me. I said already she used to date a lot of people and to be sort of a player. I just thought she was way out of my league, and found her way too hot and beautiful for me to even dare thinking I'd have a chance. And yet we hooked up. We barely had spoken a few sentences to each other when that happened.

We were at a friend of a friend of a friend's private party, and had nothing better to do that just drink. Of course, alcohol is always your best ally when you want to end up in bed with someone for no real purpose. Though I was not thinking about it at all, and she just seemed already quite drunk. And then at some point, while we were just chatting on a couch, we barely kissed, almost as if we both leaned and came close to each other by mistakes. We were talking of random things because there was no one around, and we didn't seem to have much in common (except maybe whiskey and liking to get people started on border-line politically-engaged talks). That came as a surprise. There was what seemed to be a very long pause, where I probably looked terrified and where she hesitated before she started smiling a little (that my friends, would be the player's instinct rushing back :)). And we both got up as if to pretend that did not happen and went to a nearby table to get another drink (can't even remember if my glass was empty. We just needed a way out of the moment.)

And then, after a awkward silence pouring glasses and looking in each other's eyes, as a the sound system started barking a new song, she grabbed me and kissed me. Or I grabbed her and kissed her. We still fight about that all the time. What I do know from my point of view, it's that I thought she started it and I had 2 tiny voices in my head saying "the Hell with it, if that girl diggs you, you just *cannot* dodge the bullet or you will hate yourself", and "yeah, on the other, she looks fairly baked and drunk already...". I decided the first voice had the strongest point, and that if it came to a more intimate situation, I would follow voice number two and bail out like a gentleman (and hate myself, yes...).
So I remember grabbing her, that we sort of danced, though that probably looked like a couple of drunk monkeys rolling in the middle of room, and moved back to the couch where we crashed without letting go of each other and stopping kissing.

Then I remember that went for a while and decided to move it to one of the bed-rooms, that we threw out everything that was in there, so that no one would come disturb us. We were in a completely frenzy. And then she took me against a wall (which in the morning revealed itself as a dresser's door in bad shape...) and started kissing my neck (at which point you usually start thinking "ohhhh, gooodd"). And then voice 2 came back to me, and my own voice from my teenage years where I promised myself never to take advantage of a girl. Well I really hope I didn't that night. G. still picks on me too, saying she actually was super-drunk and doesn't remember much of the details, except that I kissed her first, and that she had a great night. That's sort of nice to hear, and on the other, I feel like shit every time she says it. Sweetness... But I looked at her and thought voice 2 was dead wrong. That girl was not that drunk! Hey we made it without falling to the bedroom, though without looking, that's a strong argument in favor of the sober-state, isn't it?

We had the craziest night ever. The scariest too, at least for me. G. was definitely more experienced than me (well that's often been the case with my ex-es anyway, and I never once had a comment about it being awkward. So, though I assume the previous one was probably kind to spare my feelings, I guess I did OK with what I knew about, you know, the stuff and how it works). Anyway, I was scared shitless because she was so beautiful, and so bad, and so mad, and so all over me, and that it had been such a long time. I was, on the inside, completely freaked out. On the outside, I managed to take back (some) control from the beast...

The rest of the memories is too private (and a bit confused). I remember people knocking on the door and us telling them to fuck off (obviously). I remember a crazy undressing session. I remember a bed, a carpet, a desk (students' rooms are handy). I remember that we kept going until I finally got a clear sign that she was over.

And I remember being kicked out of the room.


Go to Our First Encounter - Part 2.

Your Concerns about her STDs  

Posted by H in , , ,

I got an e-mail recently from an escort concerned about things I wrote here, in regards to G. performing oral (thanks your concern, by the way).


Yes, she does that sometimes.

But with various levels of flexibility depending on the level of the rate and of trustworthiness of the client.


In general she just doesn't offer oral of any kind to first-time clients at her normal rates.

Then depending on the rate, for a significant extra she'd do protected oral (I won't go into using all the acronyms used on review website, I'm not there yet). And it will remain as it is for some time.

More regular clients get protected oral and the right to jerk off on her for extra prices.

Really regular clients, or clients she really enjoys spending time with, and pay lots, she had sometimes asked them to provide clinical results beforehand.
Some just can't be bothered, in which case it stays as it is. Some will gladly do the test. She even has one of her agencies who gladly refers the clients to a clinic, so that results can be trusted (yeah, on the one hand, if a guy can buy a girl for a night, guess he could buy a printer and a medical clerk).

And she gets tested regularly herself, as do I.

She never caught anything bad, except a thrush every once in a while, that is apparently completely benign (she's just apparently predisposed to a certain kind).
She had once a terminated pregnancy though. She doesn't know for sure which client it was, but she learnt she was 3 weeks pregnant a few years ago, before I knew her. Most probably, a malformed condom, or some guy who was not careful and dripped and she did not notice. She's been extra careful since then. She puts the condoms on and discards them afterwards herself.


There were times, a few years ago, where she would go out of her way for a lot of extra cash and do oral with no protection.

When I learned that I was quite shocked. Not because of whatever some people may think it means for me, but for the risks it represents for her. I just can't imagine a girl playing with her life like that. It actually struck me personally with other girls I dated before G., who after just a few dates, would ask if I would like to have sex without condoms. Hell no, you think a few dates are enough to know each other, build trust, and know your medical history?? Think again.

I guess some readers will think that if she did it, she probably still does it and just doesn't say it.

I sincerely don't think so (otherwise I wouldn't be taking any chances), and trust her with that. She's a pro and has been at it for a while, these rare regulars are quite close to her, and I believe her when she says that more often than not she now talks them out of it when they express the idea, mostly because of me.
Like I said earlier, she has a hard time now going at it with clients and not thinking of me (even if only after the job). And of course sex itself is already difficult at times, but un-protected oral apparently fucks her mind upside-down.

The last time she did it with a client she cried herself to sleep for 2 days. It makes her feel cheap, used, and unworthy of being with someone. That was a long time ago, though.


Sometimes I read blogs of girls with stories about such services too, and I wonder if they know what they're doing.
I wonder how they deal with it if they're involved with someone, and how that person reacts to it.

I'd be glad to hear people share their experiences and opinions about this.


I'd also be glad to talk more about this topic in general. I think it's really important that girls get a bullet-proof sexual education when it comes to diseases when they want to start that job. Unfortunately, not all agencies would go at great length to make sure they're in the know. If there is any agency involved, anyway.

Like I said, I was pretty shocked when I talked with G. about various things, and realized that she got startet with that life-style so early that she barely had an education for it, and picked everything up on the go.
It's quite laughable at times (I pick on her, saying that I picture what used to be a completely innocent girl with barely a clue of what she's doing and trying to reproduce fantasies and movies), and also completely scary. Because if you start with no basics at all, you're bound to make mistakes.

Our Open-Minds, Your Surprise?  

Posted by H in , , ,

This is mainly in response to Natalie 's comment on my "Our Good-Byes" post, but also just to clarify some things and give my touch on these matters...


Natalie commented:

wow. thats just nuts to me that you let your girl leave with some guy you dont even know...AND she tells u she likes his company and his sex....

I just cant grasp that. I hope you are not harboring feelings of unworthiness. Bc that would def make me feel not good enough for her.

Why is money so important to her that she would leave her "love" to go be with anothe guy for a WHOLE MONTH and maybe LONGER??

I couldnt leave my babe for longer than a week without freaking out lol
I think we just are different, you and me. I don't impose judgment on anyone, and I don't think one approach is "better" than the other, or that there's only one right answer to this.

For starters, I am a polygamous person. Or I used to be, and even if I'm not anymore, it's because I have no need for it and because I've found my peace with it, and am happy with the current state of my life. But I still understand and recognize the concept, and I don't have a problem with G. being polygamous herself.

Then, you'll tell me that this is not, in the strict sense, polygamy. She's not living with her clients, and is not romantically involved with them. She's still attracted to some of them though.

Anyway, I am just not a jealous person. I wouldn't like to discover one day that G. cheated on me with someone though. But "cheating" here means screwing someone and not telling me. If she comes up to me while we're out in a bar and tells me she's got the hots for that guy or girl over there and thinks she could be interested in following her instincts, I don't really have anything against it (and neither would she, in general).
Or if I'm not around and that happens but I get "the talk" the next morning or a few days later about what happened, it's fine with me. It's a matter of honesty and trust.

It is mainly just sex after all. Like I said, that would just be her following her instincts, her needs, her desires of an instant. It doesn't mean she would have with these sexual partners the kind of connection. And if she were to start developing that sort of connection with them, then what is there to be afraid of? To be replaced? Maybe. For me. But on the other hand, aren't we supposed to all try to find the person(s) who fit and suit us the most? That's what we're all looking for, and I cannot imagine standing in the way.

All words, and easy words to say when it's not happening though. But right now that's my situation and point of view.


And when she's out with clients, I tend to see it the same way. The financial aspect of the transaction doesn't pose a problem to me. It is a transaction, and it is in some weird way at least more honest and straightforward than what you find in the clubbing/partying/dating scenes.
I don't think of it as something horrible for this reason. It is because she doesn't like doing it, and because it fcks with her brain because she cannot detach herself completely and has a hard time living a double life.

But in some cases, it's not that much of a problem. And with this client, though she's not really attracted to him, she is not scared by that duality. It doesn't mess up with her (as far as I know), and if it's OK with her, it's OK with me.

Rest assured, she wouldn't have gone on such a trip with any client. She has to have some kind of compatibility with the person. Whatever the price, she wouldn't go for the first time for such a long time with a stranger, no matter what the guarantees. She requires to have some kind of professional history with the client before, and if she doesn't, she requests to meet him beforehand a few times.


In regards to your question about what makes money so important for her that she'd leave me for a month...
Many different aspects to this answer. We share common goals, which require some basic wealth. Some of my goals are her own success in her (real) career and happiness in life, and these two things require some money.
Third, like all girls in this business, money's a drug. Sex is drug. Luxury and attentions are too. So are all the other aspects of this life, even the ones that make you look down on yourself.

I guess you could say G. is the type of person who's gone through so much in her life that, no matter what you'd say and what would happen, she'd keep looking at the world with such a negative view (when she needs to, that is), because she wants to hate the world. She wants the world to be bad to have this reason to hate it. Because it's soooo much simpler than to think you were just unlucky, or that life was unfair with you, and just accept it, and move on.

Like I said earlier: pride is the worst sin of all. But wrath is a close second, they can eat you alive from the inside, and nurture themselves in closed circuit. If you don't find the shutdown button, it'll break you down.

And I guess, though she's made huge progress to deal with both of them on an "instant karma" level (by starting to be capable to control them in arguments and situations and to realize she has to start turning the page and not letting herself go completely bezerk on tiny things that happen everyday), she still has deep-down a close relationship to both of them.

G. and I both have a double duality. We both are a strange kind of schizophrenic individuals, oscillating between the things we believe in and the things we want to believe in (consciously or not), swimming in the Cocytus flowing between the shores of our ethics and principles on the one hand, and the ones of our goals and interactions with the (harsh) reality. And Then this duality reaches another level as we complement each other.


Like I said at the beginning of this post: maybe there's no right answer. Well I'm sure there's at least one. That one works for me, it doesn't mean it's universal. Maybe it's just not possible to find a solution for everybody in this equation.


On a lighter note... like Natalie says in her comment, "that's just nuts to [her]". It's something she thinks she could not deal with it. So far, I can, and don't see any change in that attitude any time soon. I'd like to change other people's attitude about it though, because my view seems better (obviously. I can be an hypocrite, just like that :). After all, if the situation doesn't stress me, and it does concern other people, then either I'm an idiot (but idiots die happy and clueless), or you'll be the ones dying of an ulcer. Maybe that's another good approach to changing people's view on prostitution. It's twisted and capitalistically oriented. They'll love it.


And about freaking out while she's gone... don't worry, she does, and so do I. But that's not specific to escorts. "Normal" couples do that too when they're apart, right? Or is that only something I want to believe in again?

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My Girlfriend is an Escort

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