Our Apologies
I'm a damn idiot, and she's back home from her long night of duty.
She came back at 6.30.
Like I knew it would be the case, her customer required more time and was willing to pay for it. So she and (the other girl) stayed another hour.
And then the guy requested another one.
And another one.
And...
She called around 5.20 to tell me she was sorry and couldn't go yet and was wondering if she was waking me up and if I was worried and explained all this.
I never know what to say in this case: I am very honest person, but I hate to give her a bad conscience. No, everything's fine, I was just working, couldn't sleep, I said. Of course she doesn't really buy it, and it's a weak half-lie (I usually work at night when she's gone to get if off my mind, and be up when she comes back and cheer her up if I need to, make it go away), but she knows I'm OK and I'm not mad.
Then she told me the guy just couldn't stop asking for more, even though he probably didn't realize a thing anymore (boy, I'm pretty sure his credit card will send him a nice reminder of what the reality takes like in a few days... or Johnny boy has way too much money). Might have to stay for maybe another 2 hours. Maybe only 1.
Finally he got so drunk and baked that they could persuade him it was time to call it quits.
And she came back home, exhausted but safe and all smiles, around 6.30.
She apologized for everything.
It is I, who should apologize.
For not trusting her on this, and for letting my fears eat me up like this when my reason tells me everything's fine.
We ended up going back to bed like if we were going to sleep as usual, even though I was already late for work and just waited for her to fall asleep and leave.
I love these mornings. Because I know she's home and fine.
Though sometimes I wonder if she'll be home when I come back, or if I'll find a note telling me she's sorry but she's to work until stupid-o-clock.
But right now, I just sit at my desk at work, and I'm happy.