Our Apologies  

Posted by H in ,

I'm a damn idiot, and she's back home from her long night of duty.

She came back at 6.30.

Like I knew it would be the case, her customer required more time and was willing to pay for it. So she and (the other girl) stayed another hour.
And then the guy requested another one.
And another one.

She called around 5.20 to tell me she was sorry and couldn't go yet and was wondering if she was waking me up and if I was worried and explained all this.

I never know what to say in this case: I am very honest person, but I hate to give her a bad conscience. No, everything's fine, I was just working, couldn't sleep, I said. Of course she doesn't really buy it, and it's a weak half-lie (I usually work at night when she's gone to get if off my mind, and be up when she comes back and cheer her up if I need to, make it go away), but she knows I'm OK and I'm not mad.

Then she told me the guy just couldn't stop asking for more, even though he probably didn't realize a thing anymore (boy, I'm pretty sure his credit card will send him a nice reminder of what the reality takes like in a few days... or Johnny boy has way too much money). Might have to stay for maybe another 2 hours. Maybe only 1.

Finally he got so drunk and baked that they could persuade him it was time to call it quits.

And she came back home, exhausted but safe and all smiles, around 6.30.
She apologized for everything.

It is I, who should apologize.
For not trusting her on this, and for letting my fears eat me up like this when my reason tells me everything's fine.

We ended up going back to bed like if we were going to sleep as usual, even though I was already late for work and just waited for her to fall asleep and leave.

I love these mornings. Because I know she's home and fine.

Though sometimes I wonder if she'll be home when I come back, or if I'll find a note telling me she's sorry but she's to work until stupid-o-clock.

But right now, I just sit at my desk at work, and I'm happy.


You have no need to apologise, my friend, That thought process is natural, you care about G. very much. Especially since you don't tell her you have been up all night worrying... I should probably follow your lead. My girlfriend also has the same occupation as yours... I have always known, and we are open and honest with each other. Sometimes I can deal with it, and other times it completly destroys me. The fact that it hurts me sometimes is a problem for my girlfriend, and im trying very hard to fix my issues for myself, and for her sake. would love to chat to you at some point H, you seem to have gone through the same mental processes as me, and come through on the other side ok. I need a little help, and your blog kind of helps me order things in my mind a little. Cheers.

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My Girlfriend is an Escort

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