Her Pimp, My Nemesis  

Posted by H in , ,

I think that he's the one person I have actually troubles to deal with.

Not really because he calls late at night when he needs her and she's on call, but because:

A) he's also her drug dealer;
B) he'd like to fuck her.
C) she doesn't want me to meet him, and she doesn't want him to know I exist.

Bottom line I have a hard time trusting that guy when it comes to her safety.

The first point is a bit annoying for me. I don't do drugs. I am pro-legalization though, when it comes to light/soft drugs.

I'm less lenient on harder drugs, mostly because of the lack of control.

The funny thing, I have several friends working for enforcement agencies in different countries. The consensus is the same in most of them: don't go after the soft-drugs dealers. Because if you do, all the occasional drug consumers might fall into the hard ones, and boost their proliferation.

G. occasionally does Marijuana, which I'm OK with it. Not my trip, but really nothing against it, as long as it's not on a too regular basis.

I'm more concerned on cocaine, which she does too, on a less regular basis. Considering she has only a few providers for this, who go way back, I'm not too worried about the quality, but I've seen friends get down on their knees with that one. Metaphorically and literally.

And in a really rare occasions, she'd do ecstasy. Which she doesn't like, but just uses to socialize.

She's tried heroin once, had a fun trip, and never did it again.

I'm not too concerned about her drug habits, as she's definitely not on the path towards addiction, but having lost friends to these, I know they can come fast and hit you hard, in a really sneaky way.

And that her pimp is providing her with cocaine for free occasionally bugs me a little, I have to admit. Because that apparently doesn't pose a problem for him, and I don't want this to become too regular.
And I find it a bit dismissive too, like he's just throwing it at her.

You're depressed ? Let's have a line.
You feel tired ? Let's have a line.
And so on...

Actually that's the first time she told me about him. Before I knew she was an escort, and he was her pimp. Just a friend, she said. Who buys drinks and offers cocaine, sometimes, and that she used to go out to meet when he called after 11pm, just for a drink. And she'd come back around 4 or 5.
Yeah, that kind of triggered the doubt, I have to say. Of course.

The second issue, well, that she would fuck him doesn't really matter to me, if she wants too. The thing is she doesn't really want too, but he tries to get it from her in exchange of him helping her out when she's in trouble.

She doesn't want to because she doesn't find him attractive and because she can't get around doing it with her boss.

(I know some people reading this blog will still argue that whether you find the guy attractive or not, you can still have fun. True, but you might still not want to do it at first. And secondly, I don't necessarily believe, like a commenter said, that when someone goes down on you you won't resist. I think mood is important, both for guys and girls. In the end it might work, but the lengths you have to go through speak for themselves and make the statement of the other's will in this case.)

Though, she said he's not a bad person, and actually from what she said he seems fairly OK. Right, he wants to do her, is a pimp and a junkie. He's high all the time and can't remember what the hell he talked about a few hours ago. But he doesn't force her. At least not directly, though trying to exercise pressure over someone is pretty much the same.

For the moment I just convince myself I shouldn't care. It seems natural that he takes care of his employees, and occasionally providing some entertainment is actually not that uncommon a practice in the business world, so I see no reason why it wouldn't apply in this one. You take the employees out to dinner after a hard month, or a hard rush. You give out free stuff, paid holidays and trips after a good year.

Then of course I also have a problem with the fact that he's a part of the whole industry, one of the gears in motion that make all this mess go round. But that too is not an uncommon fact.

Still, something in the guy makes me dislike him without really knowing him, and I don't like this feeling too much, because I'm usually quite indifferent.

If she wants to do him, fine. It's just sex.

I think I'm more worried about a more sneaky way of passive manipulation. Something that establishes itself over a few years. I think I don't like him because I recognize the tricks: when someone slowly prepares the field, booby-traps it, and puts cards up his sleeves. To be be sure he can have some recourse later and have you where he wants to.

The third issue is not really an issue, it is just something I did not really understand at first.

Well of course, when I didn't know she was an escort, there were those times where she would say that she had plans with friends and cancel them to be with me (then why not all meet together ? I won't bite them I promise... unless I really have to but I haven't done that since kindergarten I guess, so we should go through the night alright), and then that it would be nice if we could not hang out too long on the streets in the area so that they wouldn't see her. Hmmm? Yeah. Right...

After I knew the truth, and of course that she just didn't want anyone to see her because she had canceled a job or refused to take a call pretending to be sick or having her period or something (btw, having your period every 2 weeks is definitely fishy... doubt they buy it...but on the other it's also normal to give fake excuses in most business. No Mr Y, I can't do this right now, I'm really still busy on the file for the case W), she still wouldn't want us to go out with him, or if we did (but never did, it could just have happened), then she didn't want me to be too "friendly" in front of him.

I didn't really get it. Escorts are not allowed to have real-life partners ? It diminishes their performance or their credibility ? Or he really has feelings for her and she doesn't want to hurt him ? She's definitely not sleeping with him, so what ? Well, the thing is, apparently she just doesn't want to turn him *completely* down and take away his hopes of doing her one day, and think that would do it. I kinda like the reasoning actually, that's an inversion of control which is always good to have. Though I doubt it's as dangerous as the one he has over her.

She's a big girl, has been in there for years and knows what she's doing, and has known this guy for quite a while. Considers him as good as a friend as he can possible be, and moderately reliable. Good for what is good at: contacts and favors for emergencies.

I guess I just lack the experience in politics to grasp how all this fits together.

When I think about it all, it's actually strange to notice how much I changed since my childhood. I thought I'd hate anyone coming out as a pimp, for what he does to other people. Of course, some of the girls do it because they just want to. So is he to blame ? Well, yeah, he is. He still provides the framework for the business, and that's why they come it him. But on the other hand, this framework is definitely safer than the street.

Some evils are necessary.


i was dating an escort and the same thing happend but the dude would knock her out with drugs and have sex with her then his buddies would join in they wouldnt use condoms and she would come home with serious amounts of semen in her and soaked panties at first it was kinda hot but over time he got her hooked on rock cocain and then started shooting her up with speedballs(coke and heroin mixed)she doesnt use condoms anymore and shes a mess now and has sex just for dope so watch out

(Basing my comment on what i've read of your blog all the way up to "Her Pimp, My Nemesis. I haven't read anything past that yet).

Dont you watch movies like Taxi Driver, True Romance, Boondock Saints? The prostitutes are never treated with real good intentions, and no matter how much they act, it's still working an industry that is shady, morally wrong, and physically taxing. And nobody cares when a hooker dies in movies, sadly, but true. (No offense)

I don't know about you, but i would've been told my girlfriend this quote from Robert DeNiro when he said in Taxi Driver:

"Iris: God, you're square.

Travis Bickle: Hey, I'm not square, you're the one that's square. Your full of shit, man. What are you talking about? You walk out with those fuckin' creeps and low-lifes and degenerates out on the streets and you sell your little pussy for peanuts? For some low-life pimp who stands in the hall? And I'm square? You're the one that's square, man. I don't go screwing fuck with bunch of killers and junkies like you do. You call that bein' hip? What world are you from?"

I mean, don't you realize that escorts and prostitutes die often enough from overdose or other bs in dangerous situations? No one truly gives a rat's ass about hookers and escorts and that's probably why usually they're not in a relationship cuz that person(in your case you) actually cares about them and their safety! She really can't afford to take a decent bartending job? Those pay pretty well and you get to have fun, and the attention, but you don't risk STDs, drugs, and abuse.

I don't think running away from the problem and leaving her is the best course of action, but if it comes to that because she cannot think of another means of income to live, then don't live with too much regret. She's putting your life at risk too because she's exposed to herpes, and other STDs that can be transmitted by oral sex, anal, etc and you never know if the condoms they use ALWAYS 100% of the time work, and NEVER break. Why go through all that trouble unless you've got really low self-esteem and/or never envision a long-term, marriage to this girl. Even in those cases, you could find a relationship that is healthier and less nerve-racking.

At the end of the day, you have to dig deep down and decide what really draws you close to G. I mean, every man ultimately wants a girl that he can claim as his own, his partner, his other self aka. soul mate. Not saying you and G. are even close to those discussions, but what do you WANT from her? If it's the sex, then you can definitely get that from a girl with less baggage. And if so, wouldn't you want the sex with her to be something more meaningful than her saying that "she treats business sex as just an act, and turns off herself to complete the job, etc". I mean, how does she express love? By sharing a component of what we humans use to express love with other scumbags, or cocaine-drugged up rich losers with you, by having pity with you and cuddling with you?

The intimacy that you share with her, she also happens to share with a random stranger. Not making your relationship foundations very unique.
You both have good qualities in keeping things honest, and trying to be concerned for one another's well-being, but that's not enough to want to make your relationship one that will last a lifetime. Besides, this kind of thing degrades the natural and underlying important component of sex in a developing relationship.

If you're staying with her for her beautiful personality, then you should really consider that there are plenty more girls with great personalities that will not bring these kinds of risks with them.

If it's because you're lonely without her then you should re-evaluate yourself and why you are so dependent on her.

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